A Different Kind Of Rebellion
by Destiel.Cas
Summary: Set 5x18.  Destiel Oneshot. What happens when Dean tells Castiel how he really feels?
1. Chapter 1

"I rebelled for this?" Castiel pinned Dean against the damp brick of the dank and filthy alleyway, his voice menacingly cold and full of all the wrath of heaven, "So you could just give up? So you could just surrender to Michael?" He punched Dean's already bloodied face and threw him to the dirty ground, the steady dripping of blood and the heavy breathing of the two men was all that could be heard.

"Cas..." Dean could hardly speak due to pain and fear. He had never been as truly afraid of anything or anyone in his life, not his first demon, not Sam on a high of Demon blood, not Raphael, not even Lucifer. He spluttered and spat blood, trying to think of the words that usually came so easily.

Castiel kicked hard in Dean's ribs, Dean cried out as at least three broke.

"You have no idea what I have given up for you Dean Winchester. After Lucifer, I am the next most wanted by heaven!"

He lifted Dean by the collar, so he was limply hanging at eye level with Cas, "Good Angels don't rebel Dean. I am the exception to the normal rule!"

In a split second, Castiel's guard had slipped and Dean saw the intense pain in the Angel's eyes that hid behind the anger. Dean heard the fear that broke through the empty expressionless tone that Cas usually used, and just as fast as it fell, Castiel's wall was back up. But Dean knew what he needed to do. Something had he wanted to do for a quite a while. Something he should have done a long time ago.

"Thats not the only rule you've proven wrong." Dean's voice was soft and he could barely manage the words with all the blood he was choking on.

Castiel paused and cocked his head, his expression softening to the confused frown he wore often. When he placed Dean back on the ground, his voice was cautious as he inquired,

"What are you implying Dean?"

Dean swayed on the spot, finding it difficult to use his legs and struggled forming words into anything that made sense, even though he had already said them thousands of times in his head, trying to choose the perfect moment to tell him, of course this wasn't what he had been planning at all, but he also knew, it was a better time than never. Dean could barely think with the drilling pain and the tidal waves of muddled emotion that kept threatening to consume him and Castiel seemed to realise this, he gently placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, immediately sending warmth through the taller man and healing him.

"Dean, what did you mean?" His voice more gentle and concerned. Like it always was when he had a problem, Dean realised.

"Cas." Dean still found it hard to find words, but was encouraged by Castiel's worried tone, "I... I think... No. No I... I know that I..." Dean wished he could just come up with a perfect, witty remark and do this a lot smoother. He stopped stumbling over the words and just looked into the bright blue eyes of the Angel. Seeing not just vessel's exterior, but into Castiel's as an Angel. And then, hesitantly, Dean took a step forward and placed his hands softly on Castiel's waist, pulling him closer, he leant down and pressed his scarred and dry lips softly against the Angel's, hopefully saying what he couldn't with words.

_I'm sorry Cas. About everything..._

The kiss was cut short when Castiel pulled away.

Dean looked once again into the angel's eyes, was that fear he saw in them? Anger? Shock? Even disgust? Dean wasn't sure. Before he could ask though, Castiel gave a startled blink and was gone. Dean's heart sank and he fell to his knees, wishing Cas had just left him to die.

Castiel stood in a dimly lit service station bathroom, looking in the dirty mirror for any sign of difference in his vessel's looks. There was none that he could find. He reflected upon himself, he was in no way changed or anymore exceptional. Still just the same Castiel he had always been. So why had Dean Winchester kissed him? Was he suddenly attractive to the human male? Was he now somehow more than just friends with the Winchester? Had the kiss just been a way to stop Castiel from beating him further, or did the once, self proclaimed 'Ladies Man', actually have those feelings towards Castiel? An Angel of the Lord? A male Angel of the Lord? More importantly, how did he himself feel about it? The Angel once again struggled with the emotions that he wasn't used to and couldn't quite comprehend.

He felt unworthy of the title of Angel, the act of Blasphemy he had just been a part of was unsettling, even more so because he didn't know how he felt about it, but at the same time, he didn't regret that the kiss happened, he regretted ending it so soon. In a bout of confused frustration, Castiel smashed the yellowed glass of the mirror and felt tears prickle at the back of his eyes, the sensation, completely new to the angel, even with all the years he had spent on Earth, and the countless times he had seen the brothers cry, now he was experiencing the feeling, it scared him. Suddenly all he wanted was to be in the company of Dean and to have him laugh at how ridiculous he was, being scared by the fact he was crying. For Dean to make some sarcastic remark or insult the Angel. For Dean to place his hands upon him in that soft, caring way once more... He just wanted Dean, more strongly than anything he had wanted before. So Castiel unlocked the heavy door and pictured in all clarity the motel the Winchesters were staying in, down to the smallest detail and he was gone from the small bathroom. The dim, ugly florescent light flickering and casting light onto the shards of mirror in his absence was the only sign the Angel had been there.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean had driven back to the Motel and found Sam waiting for him.

"I figured you'd have a change of heart." Sam sounded almost smug, but there was also relief in his voice.

"What makes you say that?"

"I sent Cas after you. He can be pretty convincing."

Dean sighed and murmured, "I'll say."

Sam laughed and both brothers dropped their cool facade meeting in a hug, Dean couldn't help but contrast it to the embrace he had just shared with Castiel.

"Am I interrupting?"

_Speak of the fucking devil..._

The gruff voice was emotionless and the brothers turned to see Cas standing by the door, looking even more out of place than usual, Sam noted as he laughed and greeted Cas,

"Hey Cas, I take it you found Dean then?"

Castiel almost smiled. Almost but not quite, it wasn't the younger Winchester's humour the Angel craved.

"Yes."

"You didn't go easy on him did you?" Sam was enjoying this, patronising Dean was one way to help his mood. But it obviously wasn't helping Dean's, or Castiel's for that matter.

"No. I, as you would say, 'kicked his ass.'"

Sam burst out laughing and couldn't help but wink at Dean who stood by the window looking anywhere but at Cas. He also noted that Castiel seemed to be staring at Dean with an expressionless yet at the same time meaningful look which Dean was making a point of ignoring. Sam felt as if he could have cut the tension with scissors, the silence was heavy.

"I'm um... Going for a drive... You two, kiss and make up."

Dean started and glared at Sam when he continued,

"Obviously Cas, Dean can't take it that you've beat him up."

Sam got up and left the pair in silence.

"Cas."

"Dean."

The pair started in unison. Both shifted awkwardly and glanced back up at each other, the green eyes meeting the blue for only a few seconds before glancing away again.

Cas was first to break the silence, his tone cautious,

"What did you mean 'not the only rule I've proven wrong?'"

Dean smiled nervously, and attempted humor.

"Well as a general rule, I only kiss chicks." Dean's throat was dry and he felt ridiculous, if he joked around Castiel wouldn't think he was serious. And he was.

"Cas, what I meant was." Dean hung his head, completely lost as for what to say.

"No Dean, you don't have to worry about explaining." Castiel spared Dean the trouble of finding the words, "I. Find that I feel the same way towards you."

Dean looked up suddenly,

"Really?"

Castiel nodded, almost blushing, "I think I have for a while now Dean Winchester. I just was too blinded by the apoca-"

Dean cut the angel off and kissed him once more. This time more confident, he wrapped his hands around Castiel's waist and brought him closer, murmuring in Cas' ear with a small laugh,

"Geeze, I've heard of teenage rebellion, but isn't this some kind of blasphemy?"

The angel shook his head and smiled,

"This is a whole different kind of rebellion Dean. This is love."


End file.
